1001 Positively True Stories of An Indie Filmmaker

Angelo Bell's Painfully Exhilarating Adventures in Independent Filmmaking

Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Back From The Future of Filmmaking

Friday, November 27th, 2009

What is the future of indie filmmaking?

In 2015, as indie filmmakers look at the status quo and the evolution of independent filmmaking since 2000, a few key learnings will emerge. Among the most profound will be the painful understanding that indie filmmakers got caught up in the Hollywood-esque whirlwind of spend, spend, spend. When in fact such irresponsible spending was to the detriment of the industry of independent filmmaking and to the film project itself.

In 2015, the notion that bigger is better will come to a screeching painful halt. Filmmakers who have padded their production budgets with miscellaneous expenses crew member salaries  will come to the painful realization that they’ve gotten caught up in Hollywood media propaganda.

Who doesn’t want to be a part of a 50-person production team? The visual of being on set with ten people working like crazy, forty people sitting on their asses looking befuddled and a director screaming and pulling his/her hair out is what most people see as an ideal production. There’s energy! There’s chaos! There’s tension! There’s conflict! Hell, it’s just like a movie.

But is that what independent filmmaking is all about? Is that what no-budget filmmaking is all about? Or is it more of what we expect a Hollywood studio production to be like?

The monetization of independent films (particularly low-/no-budget indie films) begins with the expense of making the film.  The more you spend on the film, the more the film must earn before investors are paid, actors are paid and ultimately YOU are paid. With indie film distribution still a conundrum to most folks — even experts — and studios balking at indie films with no celebrities, how do you turn a $100K indie film into a financial success? In this case financial success means, how do you make enough money from your film’s distribution to live and make another film?  Could it that you start by making a $50K, or a $30K or a $10K film instead of spending a tenth of a million dollars?

I look around and I see/hear about dozens of productions with engorged production expenses.  There seems to be this prevailing rite-of-passage perception that “If I spend tens of thousands of dollars on my film it must be a real film.” What happened to the ideals taught in the book, How to Make a Film for $10,000 and Not Go to Jail?

How to Make a Film for $10,000 and Not Go to Jail

But let me point the finger at myself too. I spent far too much money on my film, Broken Hearts Club. I should have spent half as much, but it was easier to throw money at issues and conditions because I was lucky enough to have that money available.

We can’t blame technology for our inflated budgets. The technology is there. The technology continues to be on the side of the independent filmmaker who aspires to create art and entertainment for under $10K (or even less). Films that were edited using iMovie ($79) have made it to the Independent Spirit Awards. Cinema filters for Final Cut Pro start out around $100. You can find a 1-terabyte internal hard drive for under $100 or a firewire external for around $150. We can rent HD cameras for $65 a day, or buy a used one on eBay. With the right filters in FCP and/or some editing prowess we can even use a consumer HD camera to make a film.

But some where along the way I think people lost faith in the indie way. Perhaps it wasn’t glamorous enough. Perhaps it was simply too damn hard. It seems we get caught up in having a posse of stray PA’s roaming the set. It’s easier to hire a costumer to pick wardrobe choices instead of doing it ourselves. Some indie DP’s frown at having to do the work of a Grip. Director’s want to sit their asses in a chair for most of the production instead of helping with lights, makeup, set design.

I’m not saying it’s easy to be a director on an indie set and have to switch between being your own PA, Scripty and 1st AD — but I am saying it’s what you (we) did when we first started making films. Now that you’ve gotten better at the whole filmmaking thing, why not re-employ those strategies that allowed you to make a zero-budget film in the first place?

That’s exactly what I am doing with my feature film/web series Woman on Fire: The Resurrection of Serious Rogers. I’m turning the clock back to 2003 when I made my first no-budget short. I’m breaking my ass to gather a team that believes in guerrilla-style no-budget filmmaking where everyone wears three hats, gets their own coffee, is thankful for the case of RedBull and doesn’t bitch about eating subway sandwiches.

Once I’ve revisited the past I shall go back to the future to test my theory. Implementation of the theory is more about resourcefulness and creativity than it is about intelligence. Where there is a will, there is a way. But we have to believe we can still make a good film with a good story the old fashioned way.

Yeah. We can.

The System: You CAN’T Trust It

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Unexpected Backlash of the Probe into the Child Welfare System: Absence of Due Process In A Corrupt System Where Police and Government Workers Lie And Abuse Their Power

cant-truss-it

My sister in law has had the unfortunate privilege of dealing with the Child Welfare System in the wake of its current probe into its own malfeasance . In this situation her 9-month old toddler was injured when she pulled herself onto a object that toppled over on her. The head injury became life-threatening and the baby was rushed from a nearby inadequately functioning emergency room at TriCity in Lakewood (where they failed to stabilize her head after a the head unjury) to the pediatric care center at Long Beach Memorial Hospital.

The baby underwent surgery and has remained in Pediatric ICU as mother and father diligently watched over her. Then came the overzealous social worker who took the remaining three children, without due process and without filing a report.  Her actions were counter intuitive since 1)they went  against the statements of the surgeon who stated that there was no evidence of abuse during the operation and 2) the kids were with family members at the time.

This social worker (when I get her name I will surely publicize it)  tried to get the children into foster care as quickly as possible although members of the family were available to care for the children. When we followed up with the social worker she lied and directed us to another social worker (here’s where the conspiracy begins) who posed as the first worker’s supervisor. She wasn’t. It was a lie.

That’s when I began to put some thing together. Having grown up in New York and seen the system be scammed and scam people I recognized these actions for what there were.  A Kickback Scam.

Corrupt social workers rely on the fears and the ignorance of vulnerable parents to slip children into the system quickly and quietly. When the children are placed with a foster parent the parent receives up to $700 per child — in this case there were three children. The foster parent then offers a kick back of $1000+ per month to the originating social worker. Remember, these are the people who are being paid by taxpayer dollars to protect our children.

Once the child is in the system the social worker receives a kick-back from the  foster care parent and never has to deal with the child’s parents again. The social worker can then stall the parents into perpetuity with misdirection and force the parents to obtain a lawyer to plead their case. As you know, it is much harder to get a child out of the system than it is to get them into the system.

We were lucky. We got the kids back after only a day and they were “assigned” to their aunt and grandmother. The social worker “apologized” to the mother and began filling out a proper report. Police officers were dispatched to investigate again a second time because the first social worker botched the paperwork. For the second time the police officers reported no evidence of abuse. The Police officers even went so far as to say that they recognize the signs of abusive parents and my sister and brother-in-law didn’t fit the bill.

However, after we retained a lawyer things changed. A detective by the name of Marlene Vega from the Special Victims Bureau of the Sheriff’s department out of Whittier, CA requested that the parents take a polygraph test. The lawyer advised us not to take it for obvious reasons, the most important being that the social workers and the detectives didn’t seem to be interested in the truth, only in doctoring evidence to prove abuse.

Vega promptly went into a tirade. As a last ditch effort to coerce the parents into taking the polygraph test — against their lawyer’s recommendation, Detective Vega took the kids away and placed them into foster care the night before their court appearance. Why not wait and let the judge decide? It was a gross misuse of power to which Detective Vega claimed, “I have the right to do it.” So instead of the three children being in the comfort of family they are spending another night in an already tainted foster care system.

The day of the court case Vega LIED to the judge several times. Not small lies, they were blatant bold-faced lies. She lied so much so that even though the judge admitted that he would be inclined to believe Vega he asked to speak with the children himself. So the kids have to spend another night away from their family

My trust in the system is tainted. This unfortunate experience is a true testament to the economic separation of justice.  The California Child Welfare system and the police department is in dire need or reform from the inside out. Switching from one extreme, negligence, to another extreme, fraud and over zealousness, is not the way to change. The truth must be sought from the beginning. However it seems that the fallibility of humans overpowers the search for justice speaking to the necessity of having a legal advocate at the beginning of any potential legal issue.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Friday, August 14th, 2009

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned…

Alexander Pope was a genius. At least I think so. His poem, “Eloisa to Abelard,” is a pontificators dream, explicating, measure for measure those emotions and thoughts that both lift and ruin us.

I spent the week in a bit of self-discovery [again]. I won’t go into the sordid details but suffice it to say that I had to admit to myself that I am stressed, frustrated and nearing depression. Not stressed like the dood who walks around pulling his hair out and cussing the world, but stressed like the quiet dood in the back who, when pushed to the tipping point, could explode like Mount St. Helens.

As is true to Angelo-form, I internalize much of what happens around me. In the past year I’ve had to part ways with old colleagues, I’ve been told I had an ego issue, been rejected by eight film festivals, been accepted to festivals in Italy, Canada and the UK, found new colleagues for future projects, and have lingered on the borderline of success (i.e. big sales) for three months.  I have not freaked out because within me I feel that things will work out… in time. However, enduring that time patiently has been an issue.

I was relieved and pained to discover that I did not make the cut for the New York Film Festival. Pained because it was my last free shot to make meet the criteria for submission to the Independent Spirit Awards. However, as good as I think that festival may be, it is not a festival for The Broken Hearts Club. I now simply don’t think the festival caters to my audience.  Aside from the knowledge that filmmakers are constantly vying for position and possibly slitting each other’s throat into that fest, I cannot disparage NY or the other festivals that rejected me — well, except to say that they should screen more indie films and less studio produced films.

However, playing the waiting game has given rise to a crazy “event horizon” type scenario where everything is pissing me off.  Situations are pissing me off. Finances are pissing me off. Customer service is pissing me off. Behavior is pissing me off. People are pissing me off. I seriously have half a mind to trash my address book and start new — with new friends, new colleagues and new business associates.  I mean everything and damn near everyone.

I need my inner peace to find its resting place once again.

And I need to get back into the gym. Working out is a stress reliever like no other. It explains why several years ago, in the midst of the storm, I found peace everywhere. I was cool. Cucumber cool.

For me, finding that safe place begins with the title of this blog, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.“  Pope meant something a little different, but I’m going to paraphrase him. A spotless mind is one where woe and complications do not exist. Instead, we find opportunity, grace and purpose. A spotless mind beams like the sun, because it is not encumbered by worry, doubt, confusion, distrust, lies, etc. It’s clean.

A spotless mind is a spotless spirit. It is not perfect by any means. But it has no reason to lament its faults because it has acknowledged and redeemed itself against those faults. A spotless mind is a positive spirit that dwells in truth.

Truth. The cool thing about the truth is that it’s mostly right there in front of you. Truth presents itself like a pink elephant sitting in your barcalounger, wearing your slippers, eating your Orville Redenbacher popcorn,  watching a bootleg copy of Transformers II. We try to pretend it’s not there.

As Pope questions in his poem, “But whence arose that prayer? Sprung it from piety, or from despair ”Hmmm. Am I praying out of devout goodness or despair? Neither.

A spotless mind is sprung neither from divine duty nor from hopelessness, and thus apathy. It springs from belief and from truth. Truth in all things. Truth in all matters. Truth in all passions and fears. Truth. Truth can be dealt with when externalized. It can provide closure, peace and thus –

An eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Choice Is Sweet Control

Friday, August 14th, 2009

I caught the tail end of a sermon about attitude given by a TV evangelist. The message  was clear and right on time. While we cannot control the things that happen to us and around us, we do have control over how we respond to those things. Attitude is a choice. Having a positive attitude ironically is often harder than having a bad attitude. Regardless of the difficulty, we make a choice.

  • We choose to feel offended
  • We choose to feel alone.
  • We choose to be angry.
  • We choose to be joyless

However, in the same way we choose these powerfully negative things, we can also choose their positive counterparts. We can ignore offensive behavior, find joy in our solitary times, find humor in troubling times, and seek joy in everything. It’s not easy, and sometimes we must remove ourselves from situations that compel us to feel anger or resentment in order to grow. And that’s fine.

As is often said, misery loves company, and we have full knowledge of our own miserable behavior and that of certain folks around us. Misery will surround you and seep into the very fabric of your life. I’ve often caught myself going down a never-ending rabbit hole of resentment and anger. Then I stop. I take a breath. I ask myself why am I here; why am I giving even more power to a situation that will eventually and inevitably resolve itself.

After trial and error I now know this is  greater challenge for me than it might be for others. While I can remain calm in some of the most trying circumstances, other circumstances set me off like a match to a powder keg. The emotional baggage I claim from childhood lingers. As such, I can become retaliatory at the drop of a dime. I cannot test myself while in the fiery pit. I have to employ more subtle tests. I must remove certain attitudinal temptations from life until I am stronger.  For me it’s not as simple as saying, I must try to be a better person.

I have to be a better person, first without the things that set me off, and later, in the presence of the things that set me off.

Indie Film Goes Back to School

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

I came across an article by Caitlin McCarthy, a teacher and filmmaker who posted on Ted Hope’s blog, Truly Free Film. The full article is here: http://trulyfreefilm.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-to-save-indie-film-seek-out-working.html

Below is my reply to both Ms McCarthy and a commenter

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Ms McCarthy offers some very insightful advice. I think “Cunningham” is missing a valuable point: children spend a great deal of time in school and participating in school-related activities. School is a tremendous part of children’s lives. And, giving a cue to the indie filmmaker contemplating multiple micro-cinema releases, it’s a good place to merge art and commerce, inspiring future endeavors (i.e. dreams) on both sides of that spectrum.

If you could tell one person about your film and know for sure that this person would tell no less than 500 people, doesn’t it make sense to partner with them? Isn’t this the case when you discuss with a school principal the benefits of screening your film to his/her students? A film poignant to parents and children in school should be shown in school, with a screening easily coordinated by email. Consider the screening of a PG or G-rated film to junior high or high school audiences in your neighborhood, community, city and state and the financial possibilities are endless. Give back a percentage of the sales to the school(s) and the effect is multiplied.

I believe it must be further clarified that “disadvantaged youth” spans more than “Hispanics and African Americans” as Cunningham repeats via statistics — over and over again. There are many under served communities in traditionally mostly-white neighborhoods.

Whether kids “want to be in school” is not the point. Kids ARE in school, for a great deal of time. Let’s inspire them by reaching out to them, breaking down the barriers between their communities and the rest of the world, and teach them to dream to reach and to achieve.

You Simply Can’t Stop Being You

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

If you don’t know who you are by age 30. If you don’t now who you are by age 40 there’s an even bigger problem. Personally, I know that within me is a desire to help people. As I’ve progressed into film, that desire has translated to offering advice, suggestions and critiques on matters related to film.

When I prepared to make my first film I couldn’t find anyone willing to part with information to help me succeed. It frustrated me at the time, but now I think it was a good deal for me because I don’t let other people stop me. I found the information myself, studied on my own, planned and did it solo.

However, I promised myself that I would never forsake anyone who asked for my advice based on my experience making films or writing. Thankfully I’m happy to say that I never have.

It’s a tough thing though. Some folks don’t want information they want you to tell there were the magic bullet is to get from ground zero to super-stardom. They want you to tell them it’s easy, or they want you to grab them by the hand and make them do what they’re not cut out to do.

It’s a big responsibility. But if you know who you are you simply can’t stop being who you are. I’ not the type of guy to horde information unless it’s critically necessary for a period of time. But when that time is up, I’m a blathering madman. Other than that, what I know I will happily offer to anyone who asks.

Sometimes people ask in the most polite way. They show their eagerness to learn. They proclaim themselves as true Do-it-yourselfers, they swear they are on the ball. So you tell them. You type of a three page email full of information. You draft, from scratch, a 12-point bulleted list. You send it off, happily.

And guess what. They never say thank you. They never respond. They never let you know the information isn’t for them. They never let you know anything.

But some people…some people are grateful. And they appreciate your efforts. And it is for those people that you cannot change who you are.

Unbreakable

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Unbreakable

Unbreakable

UNBREAKABLE

I am unbreakable.

I can’t be beaten.

I can’t be beaten because I am tireless.

I never stop.

I jab with my words and I uppercut with my creativity.

I’m resourceful. Flexible. You may attempt t pursue but it will leave you empty.

I cannot be beaten.

F*ck you, this isn’t some mere mantra or meme

I’m unbreakable.

So gather your resources…

Inventory your weapons…

Make your plans…

You can study me but you can’t out-maneuver me.

You can gang up on me but you can’t bring me down.

You can talk

Whistle in the dark

Plot

It doesn’t matter.

I am unbreakable. Tireless.

And my will is my weapon.

And your deception

Is done.

I am unbreakable.

Industry Makes Me Want To Be A Better Man

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

 

Finding Peace in Hollywood

Finding Peace in Hollywood

This industry makes me want to be a better man. I don’t mean that in the romantic sense, like Jack Nicholson meant in As Good As It Gets. For me this is a realization that the film industry and all its peripheral industries are very cutthroat, and the chaos can suck you in and fill you with unproductive thoughts and feelings.  The key to success in any industry is perseverance. But sometimes the independent scene can knock you on your ass with its arrogance and pretentiousness.  It’s like being bitten by a vampire. The venom spreads through your system and the next thing you know, you’re behaving and thirsting in the same way those nasty bloodsuckers are behaving. 

 

I believe this stems from the frustration filmmakers inevitably feel 1) trying to get film a film made and 2) trying to get a film out to an audience. My personal frustration lies within the realization that the indie film community isn’t really a community at all. It’s a hemisphere of sovereign nations, each vying to maintain its own existence and success, sometimes to the detriment of the hemisphere as a whole. Sure, somewhere in the vastness are small pockets of people who understand the value of standing together for a singular mission, but those pockets face difficulties aligning with other pockets. It’s like walking down a street and seeing several churches on a single block. They have similar belief structures but the idea of merging together brings a foul taste to their sanctimonious mouths.

I’ve stopped asking myself “Why?” and resolved to accept the truth. And I think I am a better man for it. In the past I’ve become entangled in the web of crazed emotions trying to figure this shit out. Imagine, trying to figure out the filmmaking thing and then realizing that you must also figure out the filmmaker thing.

During the very first conversation with my mentor he told me, “Don’t rely on other filmmakers, they can’t do shit for you.” I’m sure I’m paraphrasing him but you get the point. At the time I thought he was right because, from a distribution standpoint, it would be silly to assume another indie filmmaker would by one’s indie film. But I now understand that he was referring to much more than a simple purchase of a DVD or movie ticket.

alfred-hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock

Before I get into that, let me take a moment to confirm my support of all filmmakers. It’s a tough life and I offer mad propz to anyone who willingly takes that rough road. But let’s face it, filmmaking isn’t rocket science and it’s not like we’re curing cancer. Filmmaking at its worst, is bad entertainment. At its best it is entertaining education and perhaps enlightenment. What I don’t confirm is the highbrow mindset of many filmmakers. I don’t really give a shit that you’ve seen all of Godard’s films or if you’ve studied Truffaut’s ability to create complex characters. I don’t care what you think of Renoir, Welles, Hitchcock, Altman, Kubrick or Spike Lee. What I do care about is how you’ve managed to make films, buy a home, feed your family and put money in our children’s college fund. If you share that information with me I can share it with others and someone might benefit from it. Taste is subjective. Money has a universal appeal.

However, filmmaking is a solitary endeavor. No one will care about your film as much as you do. This might explain a filmmaker’s preoccupation with great directors of the past if those directors were his/her inspiration for making a film. A filmmaker might view other filmmakers as competition, and as such hoard information, support or acknowledgment. It’s cool, I get it. But the phrase “tragedy of the commons” comes to mind. (This reference was gifted to me)

Central to Garrett Hardin’s article “The Tragedy of the Commons” is a metaphor of herders sharing a common parcel of land (the commons), on which they are all entitled to let their cows graze. In Hardin’s view, it is in each herder’s [individual] interest to put as many cows as possible onto the land, even if the commons are damaged as a result. The herder receives all of the benefits from the additional cows, while the damage to the commons is shared by the entire group. However, if all herders make this individually rational decision, the commons (the lands) are destroyed and all herders suffer.

My heart tells me, filmmakers should consider this in all aspects of their amateur and professional careers. When we set precedents in making subpar deals or rebuking newcomers we are establishing individually rational decisions that might cause the common grounds (filmmaking community) to suffer. But my brain tells me that it’s just a part of the industry.  

There are things we can control and things we cannot. My brain and my heart tell me to focus on those things I can control. i can control how I learn and how much I learn. I can control whom I allow to affect and impact my life. I can control to whom I disseminate information that I believe might help. I can control my persistence. Most importantly, I can control my attitude.

My attitude is one of giving, reciprocation, sharing and reaching back. Perhaps I’m a product of my culture and environment. Perhaps it’s a God-given course. Either way I am a better man, not for doing anything in particular, but because I recognize and acknowledge these things within myself.

My wife used to say, “I don’t lend money. I give money.” This way she never expects the money back and thus saves herself from the disappointment. 

The bright side? I have met many many filmmakers who believe as I do. That supporting each other is the best thing to do. So they support each other. And they’ve supported me. And I give it right back as much as I can. In the meantime, we’ve all got work to do, films to make or complete, and audiences to find. We can do it alone or as a community. Either way, it must be done.

A Clear and Present Danger: Distance

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Last night I stepped out for my last cigarette for the night. As I looked at the heavens and thought about my “to do” list for the remainder of the week, for a moment, all my hopes and aspirations seemed an eternity away. I ponder that feeling for a moment. In fact I let it take hold of me and I felt myself drifting down the rabbit hole, plunging towards the ultimate death of my dreams. The phrase reality check came to mind. 

Then I snapped out of it.

While some of my aspirations seem to be quite far off in the distance, I am in the midst of my journey. What good is a journey if you travel merely half the distance only to return, the glorious wonders of the final destination remaining sight unseen? To be honest, I wanted to quit last night. I wanted to pack it all up, stow the gear away, nix the blog and get a real job. How wonderfully easier it would be?  I can do the professional suit, shirt and tie thing. Hell, I’ve worked on Wall Street for chrissakes. But would it truly be easier, knowing that in the bowels of my being, there is disruption because I would not ultimately be happy?

So I mentally slapped myself across the face and said, “Enough.”  Ironically, it became clear to me why several old acquaintances with thespian dreams suddenly fell off the planet long ago. I can only imagine how incredibly disillusioning it must have been to see other fledgling actors and actresses rise to the cream of the crop, while stagnation remains the most accurate description of their career. So too goes it for many writers and directors I know.

“Don’t believe the hype,” my mentor remarked to me when I recited a mention about Michael Mann’s commitment to digital filmmaking. Or maybe he was responding to a comment about how certain applications of digital technologies bode well for certain film genres. I don’t know because he didn’t explain — which got me thinking all the more.

Don’t believe the hype, while it is almost impossible for the everyday man to transmogrify into the next great thing — i.e. “Look at Angelo. He’s sooooo hot right now” —  it is possible to live with meaningful existence  doing something you love, be it acting or filmmaking or music. Could it be that we purposefully become caught up in the most elusive and the most heightened aspects of the dream, because it provides us with a comfortable place to call it quits?

I watched The Biggest Loser  on DVR last night. One of the contestants pissed me off when she said, “But what if I work really hard and I still get voted off?” WTF? Was she saying she’d be more comfortable getting voted off if she didn’t work hard? Maybe that’s it. Maybe we unconsciously program ourselves to ease the burden of failure by simply not working as hard as we can. Food for thought. 

My light at the end of my personal tunnel is the belief that hard work pays off. Hard work combined with education, resourcefulness, courage and flexibility is a deadly combination for the elimination of failure. And that’s really not so hard, is it?

Black Snake Moan…wtf?

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

I’ve got just three words to say about “Black Snake Moan” – WTF? What was this film about? Why did the writer/director Craig Brewer choose this as his second film after “Hustle & Flow“?

Don’t get me wrong, I was quite satisfied for 30 or 40 minutes watching thqat petite body of Christina Ricci walking around in a cropped T-shirt and panties. She’s damn sexy. But even with all her petite big-butt sexiness and edible toes, after a while I started to think…Okay, so what’s the point?

Again I say, don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad film. But it’s a film that begs the question, “why do I exist?” There are several major questions left unanswered. Why does  Justin Timberlake’s character have such an anxiety problem? Why is Christina’s Ricci’s mom such a bitch? Why does Samuel Jackson’s character come up with an implausible reason to release Christina as fast as he came up with an implausible reason to put a car chain around her sexy petite waist and flat stomach?

In the film’s defense, not once while watching it did I ever want to turn away. In fact, it had a sort of car wreck appeal. I couldn’t turn away. I had to see how it played out. And when it was over I had just one question: WTF?

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