Finding Peace in Hollywood

This industry makes me want to be a better man. I don’t mean that in the romantic sense, like Jack Nicholson meant in As Good As It Gets. For me this is a realization that the film industry and all its peripheral industries are very cutthroat, and the chaos can suck you in and fill you with unproductive thoughts and feelings.  The key to success in any industry is perseverance. But sometimes the independent scene can knock you on your ass with its arrogance and pretentiousness.  It’s like being bitten by a vampire. The venom spreads through your system and the next thing you know, you’re behaving and thirsting in the same way those nasty bloodsuckers are behaving. 

I believe this stems from the frustration filmmakers inevitably feel 1) trying to get film a film made and 2) trying to get a film out to an audience. My personal frustration lies within the realization that the indie film community isn’t really a community at all. It’s a hemisphere of sovereign nations, each vying to maintain its own existence and success, sometimes to the detriment of the hemisphere as a whole. Sure, somewhere in the vastness are small pockets of people who understand the value of standing together for a singular mission, but those pockets face difficulties aligning with other pockets. It’s like walking down a street and seeing several churches on a single block. They have similar belief structures but the idea of merging together brings a foul taste to their sanctimonious mouths.

I’ve stopped asking myself “Why?” and resolved to accept the truth. And I think I am a better man for it. In the past I’ve become entangled in the web of crazed emotions trying to figure this shit out. Imagine, trying to figure out the filmmaking thing and then realizing that you must also figure out the filmmaker thing.

During the very first conversation with my mentor he told me, “Don’t rely on other filmmakers, they can’t do shit for you.” I’m sure I’m paraphrasing him but you get the point. At the time I thought he was right because, from a distribution standpoint, it would be silly to assume another indie filmmaker would by one’s indie film. But I now understand that he was referring to much more than a simple purchase of a DVD or movie ticket.

Alfred Hitchcock

Before I get into that, let me take a moment to confirm my support of all filmmakers. It’s a tough life and I offer mad propz to anyone who willingly takes that rough road. But let’s face it, filmmaking isn’t rocket science and it’s not like we’re curing cancer. Filmmaking at its worst, is bad entertainment. At its best it is entertaining education and perhaps enlightenment. What I don’t confirm is the highbrow mindset of many filmmakers. I don’t really give a shit that you’ve seen all of Godard’s films or if you’ve studied Truffaut’s ability to create complex characters. I don’t care what you think of Renoir, Welles, Hitchcock, Altman, Kubrick or Spike Lee. What I do care about is how you’ve managed to make films, buy a home, feed your family and put money in our children’s college fund. If you share that information with me I can share it with others and someone might benefit from it. Taste is subjective. Money has a universal appeal.

However, filmmaking is a solitary endeavor. No one will care about your film as much as you do. This might explain a filmmaker’s preoccupation with great directors of the past if those directors were his/her inspiration for making a film. A filmmaker might view other filmmakers as competition, and as such hoard information, support or acknowledgment. It’s cool, I get it. But the phrase “tragedy of the commons” comes to mind. (This reference was gifted to me)

Central to Garrett Hardin’s article “The Tragedy of the Commons” is a metaphor of herders sharing a common parcel of land (the commons), on which they are all entitled to let their cows graze. In Hardin’s view, it is in each herder’s [individual] interest to put as many cows as possible onto the land, even if the commons are damaged as a result. The herder receives all of the benefits from the additional cows, while the damage to the commons is shared by the entire group. However, if all herders make this individually rational decision, the commons (the lands) are destroyed and all herders suffer.

My heart tells me, filmmakers should consider this in all aspects of their amateur and professional careers. When we set precedents in making subpar deals or rebuking newcomers we are establishing individually rational decisions that might cause the common grounds (filmmaking community) to suffer. But my brain tells me that it’s just a part of the industry.  

There are things we can control and things we cannot. My brain and my heart tell me to focus on those things I can control. i can control how I learn and how much I learn. I can control whom I allow to affect and impact my life. I can control to whom I disseminate information that I believe might help. I can control my persistence. Most importantly, I can control my attitude.

My attitude is one of giving, reciprocation, sharing and reaching back. Perhaps I’m a product of my culture and environment. Perhaps it’s a God-given course. Either way I am a better man, not for doing anything in particular, but because I recognize and acknowledge these things within myself.

My wife used to say, “I don’t lend money. I give money.” This way she never expects the money back and thus saves herself from the disappointment. 

The bright side? I have met many many filmmakers who believe as I do. That supporting each other is the best thing to do. So they support each other. And they’ve supported me. And I give it right back as much as I can. In the meantime, we’ve all got work to do, films to make or complete, and audiences to find. We can do it alone or as a community. Either way, it must be done.